Monday 27 October 2014

Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics

Hindi Jokes Adults Biography

source(google.com.pk)


How to irritate an archeologist? Show him a used whisper and ask him which period it belongs to.

What's similarity between garden and breast? Both are made for kids but mostly used by adults.

In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

Angry husband sent sms to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite. Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse.

A nigro man attended a night party without dress. The man thought he was in black suit and told your suit is nice, but tie is in the wrong place.

A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ. He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.

T-shirt quotes: in front-I am virgin. At back: this is my old t-shirt.

Girl told to tire mechanize have sex with me. Mechanic told, ok. Come to swimming pool. She asked why? He replied because I can identify the hole only in water.

A British man sees front side of girl t-shirt that reads: handle with care. Next day the British man wears jeans pant and writes candle with hair.

Why girls are called babes?
Answer: because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

Lady: why is your husband so punctual in returning home from office?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. Sex will be started at 9pm sharp, whether you are hear or not.

T-shirt quotes of girls. Touch here if you dare, more enjoyment per liter, weapons of mass destruction, looking free touching costs, sure for pure milk, for sale.

A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

A drunken says while kissing his girlfriend: darling your lips are very salty.
Girl: stupid stand up.

Why do girls carry milk to give their husband during first night, because they need lots of curd from husband in return.

A guy takes a girl to his room, throws down his paints and says. Meet my little brother. Girls pick up her bag on the way out says call me when he grows up.

A sexy and attractive female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
Boss: what?
Girl: your eyes.

Teacher: who's the big person, you or your dad?
Kid: me of course.
Teacher: why.
Kid: I stopped drinking milk from my mom, dad hasn't.

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

Research shows men are fat than Women because every night men gets fresh milk and two big apples while women only gets one banana two nuts and one spoon curd.

All eggs in women decided to fight against sperm. They waited with guns in the sex organ. That night no one came, suddenly one shouted guys attack is from backside.

Girls prayed to god why you don't make boy's sex organ more beautiful.
God: no way, though I made it ugly, you suck it; if I made it beautiful you will eat it.

Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical? It's when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.

There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress.

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited.

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.

A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.

Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.

Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk? Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don't uck, how do you feel.

A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Animals: your tails in front.
p>Girl: what do you like in me?
Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.
Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?
Boy: yes, I like your eyes.

Who's guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.

Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.

Misuse of English: a diagram in a book was not clear. So teacher drew the diagram on the blackboard and announced. Don't look at the book figure, look at my figure.

Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. So intelligent people always keep stepney.

Boy saw a lady with big breast.
He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?
She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
Lady asks: aren't you gonna bite them?
He replies: no, it's too costly.

A guy picked up for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Who is senior's female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, so respects the seniors.

A college girl was in jeans pant and zip was open. Boy went and told miss please close your taj mahal door here my quthubminar is dancing.

What's common between sun and a women's underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.

One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.

Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it's Indian tradition to cover all eating and dirking things when not in use.

Completing engineering is like a girl pregnant everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.

Kid by chance enters into parent's bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.

Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night? Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.

A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks, I don't smoke.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night? Aunty: he was checking my temperature. Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

What is meant by burning desire while making sex? It's when you discover that the Vaseline you applied before ucking in the dark was the tiger balm.

What is the difference between a cricketer and condom? A cricketer drops the catch and a condom catches the drops.

What's the similarity between school bell and girls hole? When you hit any of these, children come out.

Sardar: I divorced my wife on the first night.
Friend: why?
Sardar: I saw the label on her panties "tested ok"

What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.

Who is a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.

Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.

How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner? Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.

Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
Dad: son, where were you?
Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
Dad- which one?
Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: "A" film
Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
there s a face above this, don't forget.
Object here appear bigger than they are.
I made you look at it.
F ck all that is missing is u.
Don't try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother.
Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

A maths professor sent a sms to his wife. Dear you are now 54 years old and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with my 18 years old female student so I will be late tonight.
Wife replied: dear you're also 54 years and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with our driver who is also 18 years. As you are mathematicians you know very well that 18 goes into 54 many times more than 54 goes into 18 so don't come tonight.

Sardar was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

Wife: remove my nighty.
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my bra
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my panty
Sardar: ok
wife: never wear my dress again


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Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Adults Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 

Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics

Hindi Joke Shayari Biography

source(google.com.pk)

Ek Mendak ne pandit se
apna future poocha

Pandit : Tujhe ek ladki milegi
jo tera dil le jayegi..

Mendak Khushi se :
Wo milegi kahan ?

.
.
.
Pandit :
Biology lab mein…..


Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai: "Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye."
Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye ..! 


Bhongasing ek ped per chadh Gaye.
Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaye?
Bhongasing: Apple khane.
Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
Bhongasing: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hun. 


Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ? 


Raja Pervaiz Ashraf: Yaar mujhey Mother's Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!! 


Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon. 


Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole "Who is speaking?". jawab aaya "Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun". 


Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,  
Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga...
Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho... 


Dad:result ka kya hua
Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
Son : mai pass ho gya.
Dad : great, aur bad news.
Son:good news galat hai. 


Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
'doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?'
Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to Yamraj hun!!!!


husband-talak lena hai,
advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
advocate-dekh liye na saste ka Natija!!


Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.
Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai... par hum se shaadi karega koun?


Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..


Santa : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
Banta : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega. Santa=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.


Banta dairy likh raha tha
"aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami".


Sweet insult!!
Ek ladka gadhe ke samne gir gaya.
Ek khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha apne bade bhai ka pair chhu rahe ho kya?
Ladka : ji bhabhiji.

What is secret of succes?
“by Right Decisions”
How do you make right decisions?
“by Experience”
How do you get experience?
“by Wrong Decision”

2 boys with Sardar where going on a Motor cycle.
Policeman gives hand to stop.
Sardar shouted oye pehle hi teen bhete hai tu kaha bethega…!

School mein Master ji ne chote santa se poocha:
Jisme koyi kami nahi usko kya kehte hai.?
aur jawab aayi:
.
.
.
.
. 
Kami- na


Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Joke Shayari Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 

Friday 24 October 2014

Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics

Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Biography

source(google.com.pk)

SANTA ~Apka kutta to sher jaisa dikhta hai kya khilate ho ise,..?

BANTA ~abe wo sher hi hai saala PYAAR-WYAAR k chakkar me kutte jaisa dikhne laga hai.


SANTA:maine apni beti ka shaadi sirf 1500rs mein kiya.
BANTA:woh kaise?
SANTA:maine use 1500 ka ek mobile dilaaya. usne love marriage karliy


Santa- muje zehar dena
Chemist- pehle Dr. Se lekhwa k lao.
Santa-apni shaadi ka card dikhata h.
Chemist- bus kar bhai rulayega kya,badi bottle du ya
chhoti.


Master- 2 me se 2 gye to kitne rhe?
Sardar-samjh me nhi aya masterji.
Mster-Beta tumare pas 2 Roti h,tumne 2 roti khali,tumare pas kya bacha?
Sardar-sabji..!


2 Sardar train k piche bhaag rahe the..
Ek chadh gaya, to train me logo ne kaha"WELL DONE"

Sardar-khak wel done,Jana to use tha,

Mai to chhodne aya tha!!


Santa-What's D Difference Between Mother's & GF's Tears?

Classic Answer By Banta-

Mother's Tears Effect Our HEART & GF's Tears Effect Our POCKET...


Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
man- are wah Vo kaise?
sardar- Main Girls collage ka busdriver Hu na.


Snta Pe Bijli Ki Taar Gir Gayi:
Snta Tdp Tdp k Mrne Hi Wala Tha.

Ki

Use Yad Aya,
Bijli to 2 Din Se Bnd h. Wapas uth gya or bola, ' Sala! dara diya.


Teacher - un do kings ka naam batao jinhone duniya ke logo ko nayi raah pe chalaya.....

Santa - sir

1.SMO KING

2.DRIN KING.. . .


santa ws painting his home suddenly
he got an idea 2 save money
he painted d upper part of d wall n wrote below..!

Same as above


Train me Warning likhi thi.....
.
Bina Ticket safar krne wale Yaatri Hoshiyaar..
.
santa- Waah , toh jisne ticket li woh Chutiye ???


Santa ne apne 6 month k baby ki birthday party rakhi,
.
Kisine pucha: 6month k baby ka b'day kaise?
,
Santa: hum semester system ko follow karte hai.


Santa : Oye Tu Ladki Dekh Aaya? Kaisi Hai?
Banta : Rang Se Kali Hai or Kaan Se Kam Sunti Hai.. . .

Santa : Zara English Me Bta . . .

Banta : 'BLACK-BERRY' Hai...


SANTA:- yaar tujhe bus me thapad kyo pada?

BANTA:- pata ni yaar,meri photo niche gir gayi thi maine kaha bahenji jara sari uppar karna photo leni hai.


Santa: jab me chota tha to ek baar kutub minaar se gir gaya tha.
Banta: Acha!!to mar gya ya bach gya.
Santa: Saale.! mujhe kya pata, me to chota tha.


Santa raat ko cycle le ke qabristan main ghus gaya.
Phir dusri side se bahar nikla
Aur paseena ponchhty hue bola:????
Yaar, ye konsa road tha????????
Itne sare speed breaker


Sardar:Meri Bevi Itna Mazak Krti Hy K Kya Bataon
DosT:Kya Mazak Krti Ha?
SArdar:Kal Mai Ghar Gya Uski Ankhon Par Hath Rakha Or Wo Mazak Ma Boli
Dudhwala.


Sardar GUN ly kr Darwaazay pr Kharaa huaa thaa
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher kaa Shikaar karnay jaa Rahaa hun
Wife: Tou Jao
Sardar: Kaise Jaon bahar KUTTA Kharaa hei


Sardar:
Aj BV ne bohat mara
Major Rohail:
Kyun?
.
Sardar: I was kissing Katrena
Major Rohail:
Wao Katrena Kaif
Sardar:
Nhi yar meri nokrani Katrena.
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Santa Banta Hindi Funny Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 

Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics

Hindi Jokes Video Biography

source(google.com.pk)

Three boys are enjoying a quiet night in a pub, when a man stumbles in and orders a beer.

Spying the group, the drunk stumbles over, points at one of the boys and shouts: ‘I’ve fucked your mum!’

The lads ignored him and returned to their beer.

He shouts again: ‘Up the ass!’

Although irritated, they ignore him again. The drunk stands up again points at the boy and yells: ‘Your Mum’s sucked my cock!’

The boy looks up wearily. ‘You’re drunk, Dad. Go home.’



A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattoo artist that she wants a tattoo of firecrackers on her right thigh, right up just below her bikini line. She also wants him to put 'Happy Diwali' under the firecrackers.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking real good.

The woman then instructs him to put a tattoo of buckets of water with 'Happy Holi' up on her left thigh.

So the guy does it and it comes out looking good too.

As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattoo artist says, 'If you don't mind, could you tell me why you had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?'

She said, 'I'm sick and tired of my husband complaining all the time that there's nothing good to eat between Diwali and Holi.'



A guy and a gal meet at a bar. They get along so well that they decide to go to the girl's place. 

A few drinks later, the guy takes off his shirt and then washes his hands. He then takes of his trousers and washes his hands again.

The girl has been watching him and says, 'You must be a dentist.'

The guy, surprised, says 'Yes....how did you figure that out?'

'Easy,' she replied, 'you keep washing your hands.'

One thing led to another and they make love. After they are done, the girl says, 'You must be a really good dentist.'

The guy, now with a boosted ego says, 'Well yes, I'm a good dentist. How did you figure that out?'

'Didn't feel a thing!'


A man and a woman were waiting in line at the hospital donation center. 

Man: 'What are you doing here today?'

Woman: 'Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me Rs. 200 for it.'

Man: 'Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me Rs. 1000.'

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the same line.

Man: 'Hi there! Here to donate blood again?'

Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) 'Unh unh.'


aswinder was involved in a serious crash; there's blood everywhere. 

She's rushed to the hospital where she's put on a stretcher almost unconcious.

Doctor: OK, I'm going to check if you're concussed.

Jaswinder: Ok.

Doctor: Ok the how many fingers am I putting up?

Jaswinder: Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!




A little girl walks into her parents' bathroom and notices for the First time, her father's nakedness.

Immediately, she is curious: he has equipment that she doesn't have. She asks, 'What are those round things hanging there, daddy?'

Proudly, he replies, 'Those, sweetheart, are God's Apples of Life.

Without them we wouldn't be here.'

Puzzled, she seeks her mommy out and tells her what daddy has said.

To which mommy asks, 'Did he say anything about the dead branch they're hanging from?'




It was rush hour and the bus was packed. One particularly cramped woman turned to the man behind her and said, 'Sir, if you don't stop poking me with your thing, I'm going to the cops!'

'I don't know what you're talking about miss - that's just my pay check in my pocket.'

'Oh really,' she spat. 'Then you must have some job, because that's the fifth raise you've had in the last half hour!'

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Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 
Hindi Jokes Video Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics 

XXX Hindi Jokes Hindi Jokes Photos Image Non Veg Funny for Facebook Wallpapers Photos Pics

XXX Hindi Jokes Biography

source(google.com.pk)

How to irritate an archeologist? Show him a used whisper and ask him which period it belongs to.

What's similarity between garden and breast? Both are made for kids but mostly used by adults.

In a lift, man elbow accidently touched lady's breast.
Man: if your heart is soft as your breast you will forgive me.
Lady: if you sex organ is hard as your elbow I am in room 207.

Angry husband sent sms to father-in-law. Your product not matching my requirements.
smart father-in-law: warranty expired manufactured not response.

T-shirt quotes: now more tastier and healthier, handle with care, tasted by experts, shake well before use, can make boneless thing hard, no one can use just once.

Man looked his naked body in the mirror says to wife-look 75 kg of pure dynamite. Wife says: but shame on the 5 cm fuse.

A nigro man attended a night party without dress. The man thought he was in black suit and told your suit is nice, but tie is in the wrong place.

A girl saw a man full of tattoo. Nike on his arms, Reebok on his legs, she was shocked when saw aids in his sex organ. He said: relax when it enlarges, it becomes Adidas.

T-shirt quotes: in front-I am virgin. At back: this is my old t-shirt.

Girl told to tire mechanize have sex with me. Mechanic told, ok. Come to swimming pool. She asked why? He replied because I can identify the hole only in water.

A British man sees front side of girl t-shirt that reads: handle with care. Next day the British man wears jeans pant and writes candle with hair.

Why girls are called babes?
Answer: because they wear nappy pads even when they are grownups.

Lady: why is your husband so punctual in returning home from office?
Lady2: I have made a simple rule. Sex will be started at 9pm sharp, whether you are hear or not.

T-shirt quotes of girls. Touch here if you dare, more enjoyment per liter, weapons of mass destruction, looking free touching costs, sure for pure milk, for sale.

A man lying on the beach, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. A woman passing by remarks: if you were any sort of a gentle man, you would lift your hat to a lady. He replied: if you were any sort of a sexy lady, the hat would lift by itself.

A drunken says while kissing his girlfriend: darling your lips are very salty.
Girl: stupid stand up.

Why do girls carry milk to give their husband during first night, because they need lots of curd from husband in return.

A guy takes a girl to his room, throws down his paints and says. Meet my little brother. Girls pick up her bag on the way out says call me when he grows up.

A sexy and attractive female employee meets her boss and says sir will you remove something from my breast?
Boss: what?
Girl: your eyes.

Teacher: who's the big person, you or your dad?
Kid: me of course.
Teacher: why.
Kid: I stopped drinking milk from my mom, dad hasn't.

Nurse lost her cat in hospital, anyone have female sex organ All women stood up. I mean anyone seen a female sex organ? All men stood up, I mean anyone seen my sex organ, all doctor stood up.

Research shows men are fat than Women because every night men gets fresh milk and two big apples while women only gets one banana two nuts and one spoon curd.

All eggs in women decided to fight against sperm. They waited with guns in the sex organ. That night no one came, suddenly one shouted guys attack is from backside.

Girls prayed to god why you don't make boy's sex organ more beautiful.
God: no way, though I made it ugly, you suck it; if I made it beautiful you will eat it.

Do you know why a girl gets full mark and boys get fail in practical? It's when they both remove their 1st button of shirt in front of external.

There are two things men really like women to do in hurry. Dress and undress.

Officer: madam swimming is prohibited in this lake.
Lady: then why dint you tell me when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: well, that's not prohibited.

Boy: if I kiss you and run away then what will you think?
Girl: I will think that a fool instead of attending the full paper just attended the one mark alone and failed.

Teacher: explain responsibility.
Student: mam your blouse has four buttons, if three buttons break down the entire responsibility will be on the fourth one.

Advertisement by Panty Company: we are not the best in the world but we are closest to the best thing in the world.

A note in the sex magazines shop: please hold the magazines with both hands while reading.

Why do women put red lipstick on their mouth? To inform men stop this is not right hole.

Teacher: why cow looks tensed after giving milk? Student: madam, if some one presses your breast for I hours and don't uck, how do you feel.

A boy and animal went to river to take a bath. As he removed his clothes all animal laughed at him.
He asked: why are you laughing at me?
Animals: your tails in front.
p>Girl: what do you like in me?
Boy: those two balls having black dots in center.
Girl: you rascal are you with me for that?
Boy: yes, I like your eyes.

Who's guilty? Wife dreaming in the night suddenly shouts "quickly my husband is back" man get up, jumps out of the window and realizes, dammit I am the husband.

Customer: my wife needs a bra but I don't know the size. Salesgirl: touch my breast and try to calculate. Customer: oh I forget he needs panties too.

Misuse of English: a diagram in a book was not clear. So teacher drew the diagram on the blackboard and announced. Don't look at the book figure, look at my figure.

Husband and wife are like two tyres of a vehicle. Even if one punctures, the vehicle can't move further. So intelligent people always keep stepney.

Boy saw a lady with big breast.
He asked her: can I bite them for $1000?
She says: ok they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse.
The boy kisses, licks, puts his face in them, presses them hared for 10 minutes
Lady asks: aren't you gonna bite them?
He replies: no, it's too costly.

A guy picked up for a date. Guy: why are you wearing your belt around your knee? Girl: I promised my mom that I wouldn't let you touch me below my belt.

Who is senior's female sex organ or male sex organ? Answer: female sex organ because male sex organ always stands up when he sees a female sex organ, so respects the seniors.

A college girl was in jeans pant and zip was open. Boy went and told miss please close your taj mahal door here my quthubminar is dancing.

What's common between sun and a women's underwear? Both are hot, both look good while going down, both disappear by night.

One man married lady traffic police. Friend asks how your 1st night was. She collected Rs.100 from me for over speed, Rs.200 for wrong side entry, Rs.500 for no helmet.

Do you know why girls wear a shawl on top of their churidar, because it's Indian tradition to cover all eating and dirking things when not in use.

Completing engineering is like a girl pregnant everyone will appreciate the outcome, but no one knows how many attempts were made.

Kid by chance enters into parent's bedroom and is shocked at what he sees. He shouts at his mom and you scold me for just sucking the thumb.

Midnight hot: After 1st night. Husband: dear what do you think about our first night? Wife: darling 5% pain, 5% enjoyment and 90% old memories.

Contest in a girl's college: write a short essay which contains religion, sex and mystery. Winners essay: oh god, I am pregnant, I wonder who did it.

A boy wanted to have sex with girl friend ashamed of his small sex organ decided to bring girl friend in dark place opened his zip and put his sex organ on girl friend hands.
Girl friend: No thanks, I don't smoke.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night? Aunty: he was checking my temperature. Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

What is meant by burning desire while making sex? It's when you discover that the Vaseline you applied before ucking in the dark was the tiger balm.

What is the difference between a cricketer and condom? A cricketer drops the catch and a condom catches the drops.

What's the similarity between school bell and girls hole? When you hit any of these, children come out.

Sardar: I divorced my wife on the first night.
Friend: why?
Sardar: I saw the label on her panties "tested ok"

What is sex? Its science with wife, its art with girlfriend, its commerce with prostitute and its social service with aunties.

Who is a true music lover? Ans: a girl is singing in a bathroom while taking bath and a boy near the keyhole is using his ears and not his eyes.

Man with no sex organ used a vibrator for years one day wife caught and asked: how dare you cheat me? Man: I will explain about the toy, can you explain about kids.

How to tell your girlfriend if you are going to urine during dinner? Dear, I've to shake hands with a close friend whom I am going to introduce you later.

Dad brought a robot which slaps a person who lies.
Dad: son, where were you?
Son: School, robot slap. Son: film.
Dad- which one?
Son: sai baba, robot slap again. Son: "A" film
Dad: what? I have not seen such films, robot slaps dad.
Mom: forgive him dear after all he is your son, robot slaps mom.

A few quotes on girls t-shirt:
there s a face above this, don't forget.
Object here appear bigger than they are.
I made you look at it.
F ck all that is missing is u.
Don't try to find sun here, its not mountain. This one is really tough for Edmund Hillary.

An innocent man watching blue film for the first time after marriage and see his own wife in it.

A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine.
Girl: two times two is four, hour plus five is nine, I know the length of yours but you will never know the depth of mine.

Boy: aunty why was uncle lying on you last night?
Aunty: he was checking my temperature.
Boy: did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking.

Prof: to keep your character good, think every woman as your mother.
Student: but thinking every woman as my mother will make my fathers character bad.

Girl: my right leg is lunch and left leg is dinner, what you will like to have?
Boy: I would like to have snacks between lunch and dinner.

A maths professor sent a sms to his wife. Dear you are now 54 years old and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with my 18 years old female student so I will be late tonight.
Wife replied: dear you're also 54 years and unable to satisfy me. Now I am with our driver who is also 18 years. As you are mathematicians you know very well that 18 goes into 54 many times more than 54 goes into 18 so don't come tonight.

Sardar was very angry because all jokes were about him; he asked his wife, tell me one joke without my involvement. His wife said: I am pregnant.

Wife: remove my nighty.
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my bra
Sardar: ok
Wife: remove my panty
Sardar: ok
wife: never wear my dress again


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